


The Hurt We Feel, We All Have Earned

by csarbucks



Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game), The Walking Dead (Video Games)
Genre: Clementine chooses Kenny, Jane Dies, Season 2 spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 14:38:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6614527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/csarbucks/pseuds/csarbucks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Clementine quietly whispered, 'Goodnight, Kenny.' Even to her own ears, it sounded like forgiveness."<br/><br/>After the events of Season 2, Clementine denies entry into Wellington. Instead, she decides to take AJ and follow Kenny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hurt We Feel, We All Have Earned

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from the song "Behind Closed Doors" by Rise Against

Clementine put on one of the packs given to them by the woman at Wellington ( _Edith_ , she thought. _Her name was Edith._ ) and followed Kenny past the tree line. Each step carried her further and further away from what could’ve been her only salvation. Even with this niggling doubt, she found her own growing fear overpowered by the thought of Lee. Lee protected with her. Lee rescued her. And Lee stayed with her until the end. If there was one thing she learned from the man she grew to see as her guardian, it was that loyalty was the most important trait she could have. That, and, she smiled ruefully, to stay away from cities.

  
AJ softly keened in her arms, and turned to snuggle into her neck. The young child held him closer, and adjusted the pack strapped to her back. She just hoped that she made the right choice by leaving with Kenny. Yes, he was the most constant person she had through all of this, but Jane wasn’t lying when the woman said that he was becoming rash and unpredictable. Just because she chose to stay with him, didn’t mean that she would let her guard down. From now on, the young girl’s main priority was the baby in her hands. She wouldn’t hesitate to put a bullet in Kenny’s head if AJ’s well-being was at stake, no matter her emotional ties to older man. This, of course, brought questions to her own morality, but she simply adjusted her cap instead of facing her own irrelevant inquisition. There was no room for an existential crisis in the zombie apocalypse. Instead, she hurried her pace and kept stride with the last of their once extensive group.

* * *

  
Kenny made them break to set up camp as darkness began to descend. The small glade gave them enough room to keep a fire and rest, but Clementine didn't trust the lack of coverage the open space provided. She set down her pack and let her lungs catch up with the rest of her tired body. Her muscles ached and her heart burned, so the young girl figured she must have been walking for more than **just** a few miles before they stopped for rest. While Clementine kept alert to her surroundings, Kenny traveled about to get supplies for a fire. Pessimistically, she knew how hard it was going to be to get an actual fire started when there was still snow on the ground. She truly doubted if there was even any dry wood left to burn.

Almost by a miracle, the man was able to find some simple sticks and leaves that hadn't been ruined by the ever decreasing temperature of the North. Kenny tried several times to get a fire going while Clementine took care of the sleeping baby boy. However, there was no success; the man may have been an expert at fishing, but it became glaringly obvious that he had no true camping skills. Before long, she sighed and butted him over, handing him AJ in the process. Within minutes, dealing out a lot of frustration and continuous effort, a small flame appeared under the wood, and it slowly grew to blaze. The older man took off his baseball cap and scratched his head confusedly, before asking, “Well damn, Clem. How’d you learn to do that?”

  
Clementine straightened to her full height, and stared into the fire. “Christa taught me after Omid died,” she spoke quietly, “she said I’d need to learn in case I became the only one left.” The thick silence settled over the two, like it always did in the group whenever someone brought up the deceased. Clementine now wondered if she could even consider themselves a group, when they had lost everyone on the journey here. They both furtively shivered and turned to the fire to get warm. But the baby started to cry, halting the younger counterpart almost immediately in her tracks. Clementine tried to mimic the way Rebecca would rock the baby back and worth while at Parker's Run, but AJ still kept wailing. Worried for the child, she looked to Kenny desperately.

He looked at the weeping baby before waving away her concern,"Awh, don't worry about it, Clem. He's probably just hungry," the older man rubbed at his face tiredly, "Let's hope to god there's some kind of baby formula in these packs." They turned and started to the supplies given to them by the woman at Wellington. Both of them grabbed one sack, and looked through its content while AJ slowly quieted, then started to babble in between them. There wasn’t much, but the sight of food and water was a blessing in itself. Luckily, it seemed Edith had even been able to put some baby formula in with the rest of the supplies. Clementine let Kenny take AJ into his arms and feed him while she took inventory of their dwindling ammunition.

  
“This food should last us about two months, if we ration it carefully,” Kenny spoke, staring at the pile of supplies they had gained. He hadn’t seemed to be able to properly look at her since he stabbed Jane. Rightfully so, a small part of the curly haired girl thought vindictively. She hadn’t yet forgiven him for what happened, but Clementine was a smart girl. A twelve year old and a newborn wouldn’t survive on their own. She needed Kenny, and she truly just couldn't handle losing everyone she cared about in just a few days.

  
Sighing quietly, she decided that it didn’t matter anymore. Too many people had died to be able to grieve about it. Too many people had died for **her**. If she kept focused on the past, the present would eat her alive: literally. They couldn’t move forward if Jane’s death was kept as a barrier between the two of them. So, she scooted closer to the man, and put her hand on his arm. He tensed and looked at her in deep surprise, but slowly relaxed when she gave him a strained smile. He returned the gesture, before they both turned to look at the glowing embers silently floating up from the fire.

  
“They only gave us a small amount of ammo, but if we’re safe, we should be able to stretch it until we get to somewhere with more supplies,” She said, leaning her head against the older man’s shoulder. The calloused hand unoccupied by the small baby wrapped around the girl’s frame, and Kenny took a deep breath.

  
“That doesn’t leave a mighty good amount of choices, Clem. I was kind of banking on Wellington being our last destination,” He turned his whole body to look at her, and she mirrored his position, leaning forward while resting her elbows against her too-thin knees. He distantly cataloged how much she had been eating lately, and it wasn't enough. They had to find somewhere. Soon. “Guess it’s your turn to choose where we go, kiddo. You still thinking about Mexico?” Kenny looked down at the young girl, and for the first time, saw her as an equal instead of just a child. She thought more logically than he did, that was for sure.  He shook his head as if to jolt away the images of Jane lying bleeding in the snow. Or of Larry with his head smashed in by that damned salt lick. Or of all the people he killed so the rest of them could live. Even though he felt his own son's death like a crushing wave of guilt and despair, he was glad the boy didn't have to see his father become the monster that he had become: the monster Kenny had needed to become to survive. 

  
Clementine adjusted the cap on her head, and stared pensively into the fire. “I think… I think we should go back to Howe’s. Jane was right, they have a ton of supplies, and baby formula isn’t exactly going to be coming to us in spades.” She turned her head to look at Kenny, then continued, “We should at least check it out before heading anywhere else. Then go somewhere warmer. If we don’t die of starvation up here, it’ll definitely be the cold.”

  
Kenny nodded his head, “Maybe we can try to find another truck along the way. It’ll shave a lot of travel time off our journey if we can get one working.”

  
The young girl straightened up in her seat, and a sparkle entered her usually dull eyes ( _When did that happen?_ He thought, _Why didn't I notice that before?_ ). She spoke in rapid excitement, almost too fast for Kenny to understand, “There’s a car dealership a few miles east, I saw it on the way to Wellington. Most of them are probably picked clean, but we can check if any of the cars have fuel in them, and maybe even find a baby seat for Alvin.”

  
“Alright,” he grinned, then slapped his knee, “Alrighty then, we’ll start moving tomorrow at daylight. Go get some sleep, Clem. I’ll take first watch. We have a big day ahead of us.” With the hope of a new plan set in her head, she quickly walked over to the sleeping bag placed across the campfire. The adrenaline of the day slowly wore off, and she found herself struggling to keep her eyes open. She watched dazedly from the forest floor as Kenny sang softly to the baby in his arms. The crackling of the flames and the sound of Alvin Jr. cooing lulled her into a sleepy state. 

  
Clementine quietly whispered, “Goodnight, Kenny.” Even to her own ears, it sounded like forgiveness. The bearded man paused, almost at a lost for words, before replying with the same soft sentiment. Things were going to be okay between the two of them, she knew. And she'd do her best to make things even better for the three of them. Yet still, with her last bit of consciousness, she let herself imagine that it was Lee's soothing voice she heard over the crackling of the fire.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic for the Walking Dead fandom, I'd really appreciate any kudos you guys have to offer. Comment what you like and what you hate, as I am absolutely obsessed with constructive criticism and constantly strive to make my writing better. Let me know if you think this should be a multi chapter story!


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